Thursday, February 28, 2013

Ivy B Cringing!

Hello, hello Sweet Bees

I'm sorry that I've been absent from blog land for a while. Other things going on and I just...well, there's no need for a list of why I haven't posted. I just haven't.

However, here I am; back and close to hitting the two week-a-versary of being 40. I'm happy to report that my birthday, all day, was fantastic. I was happy the whole day! I received many greettings via phone and email, I had visits before my party and then there was my party! Well, it was awesome and yes, yes. I remember the event in vivid detail. You see, I discovered a way to not get rip roaring toasted on your birthday. Are you ready?

Break your wine glass!

I have a habit of talking wildly with my hands and while describing something that needed a lot of hand flourish to really drive the point home, I the bottom of my wine glass and WAH...I held my breath as I watched glass and the red wine contained in it spin away from me and land on the floor with a crowd quieting crash. Now under normal circumstances, I would have been slightly embarrassed. I'm a clumsy person and fairly used to making a spectacle of myself, but in this case, I felt much, much worse.  You see, the wine glass I was using while chatting and drinking and feeling oh so in love with the world was a glass that I had been given MAYBE 15 minutes earlier as a gift! It was lovely and had cute pictures on it and said "Girls just want to have wine" and in one overly enthusiastic coverstaion about I don't even remember, the glass was gone.

sigh...yes, I could have gotten a new glass and added more liquid fuel to my happy fire, but, I just couldn't bring myself to do so. My buzz was enough without the wine and I just couldn't bring myself to get a new glass and continue the drinking...

Again I say...sigh...and I still cringe...2 weeks later...

But now, I have something else to cringe about! I may be 40 now, but that doesn't mean I can't, from time to time, get a horrible, horrible blemish! No sir! The other night, about 3 or 4 zits decided to gather together to form one giant zit on my lower lip so that it looks like I've been involved in some sort of gripping lip drama with a badger. It's a thing to behold and even though it's really obvious, I'm hoping people will just sort of, not look directly at it, like an eclipse. It's hurts like hell, is as red as a tomato and today could bring a bout of peril to the planet because it's so big that I'm almost positive that it has it's own gravitational pull and will bring something from beyond to the stars to hang dangerously in the earth's atmosphere until the stupid thing has disappeared off my face.

So, when you're out today, if you notice something a little off, something up in the sky that shouldn't be there, just remember that it's being brought to you by, Ivy's planet altering blemish.

It's the last day of February so let's make it one to remember.

Until next time,

Ivy B feeling a lot less than 40 and apologizes for her whining about her face and apologizes to her friends, again, for "the wine event".



Linda Kage said...

Ugh! The dreaded zit attack. I so hate those. Typically, I'm lucky and they attack my forehead, which is covered by bangs. The obvious one suck!

Lotds of hugs your way!

Mary Corrales said...

Yes, I know those painful ones. Got one once on my cheek that made me look like I had one huge cheekbone. Did my best to plaster my hair over it with hairspray.

Lol. Yes, I'm that paranoid about people looking at a zit on my face. :)

Ivy Bateman said...

Thanks for your support girls! I'm trying to not make too big a deal about it because my daughter is at the age where she's starting to get some whoppers and I know that if I make a fuss and stay inside in shame of this stupid thing, that she too will make a fuss about her acne and I want her to be ok with being normal.

Still...this really sucks. She thought it was a cut. Yip, it got cut when I was making out with that badger! And you know what...that badger didn't care.